Why is it so easy to repeat bad habits and so hard to form good
We try to change the wrong thing
We try to change in the wrong way
Three layers of behavior change
Most of the time we work from the outside in
We need to work from the inside out, i.e., from the identity to
the process to the outcome
Shift the focus from what you want to achieve to who you want
"Want a cigarette?" "No, I'm trying to quit."
"Want a cigarette?" "No, I'm not a smoker."
Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit
becomes part of your identity
Take pride in yourself and you'll be motivated to maintain the
True behavior change is identity change
Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who
Become a reader
Become a runner
Become a musician
Get out of your cognitive slumber
"I'm terrible with directions."
"I'm not a morning person."
"I'm horrible at remembering names."
You create your own reality of negativity
Identity conflict is your main barrier to positive change
You are self-sabotaging because of your negative identity
Progress requires unlearning
So how do you form your identity?
Your beliefs are learned and then conditioned through
In other words, your habits embody your identity
The word identity is derived from the Latin words
essential, which means being, and
identidem, which means repeatedly
So your identity is literally your "repeated beingness."
The more evidence you have for a belief, i.e., "I'm terrible
with names," the more strongly you will believe it.
The process of building habits is the process of becoming
Fortunately, meaningful change does not require radical
If a change is meaningful, it is big!
To change who you are, change what you do.
Trust yourself. Learn to trust yourself by doing small habits
repeatedly that bring about the small results you're seeking
You don't have to be perfect. You don't need a unanimous vote
to become a new you.
Just give yourself new evidence of your new self to create your
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to stand for?
What are you principles and value?
Who do you wish to become?
Maybe you have some big goals. Write those down then work
backward to figure out what you need to do to get there.
"I want to write a book (outcome-based). Who is the type of
person who writes books? Someone who is consistent, disciplined,
and reliable. Okay. I am a consistent, reliable, disciplined person
This is a feedback loop. It's a two-way street
Focus on becoming the right type of person you need to be and
the outcome will take care of itself
Know who you want to be. Habits help you become that
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